Useful Tips On Conflict Management In Marriages

Useful Tips On Conflict Management In Marriages

Useful Tips On Conflict Management In Marriages Love they say is blind. And that marriages are made in heaven. Even though both these phrases are true, it becomes difficult to believe in them after a while. For with time, couples tend to fall out, move apart or even decide to separate forever.

And while most of the reasons for these issues may be over the roof, irreconcilable ones; some tend to minor differences that can be worked out for the better.

Given below are some really simple mistakes that can threaten to dissolve a marriage if not taken care of promptly.

Giving Up Everything

Sure, you love him/her and think you can sacrifice anything and everything for him/her, even your happiness. However, if you continue doing the same thing again and again, chances are that you may end up being just a mere accessory instead of being an equal partner in the marriage. Giving up everything you wish, like or desire for him/her is ok as long as you know when and where to draw the line. For this could eventually lead to your sense of helplessness turning to anger and boiling over rather drastically.

What you can do

Talk out your wishes, desires, likes and dislikes with him/her. He/she may like/dislike something you cherish and vice versa. Talking out these simple details would ensure that he/she understands the importance of the things you value in life and vice versa.

Not Expressing Expectations

Face it! Marriage happens to be the doorway that leads to another side of your partner which you have never seen before. And most of the time, the issue starts with expectations that are crushed just because they were not discusses earlier on in the relationship.

Expecting your partner to be the way you want him/her to be can put undue strain on him/her and you relationship. And if you are not clear about your expectations, and find him/her not adhering to the same later on, it would be a major disappointment for you which would eventually snowball into a huge clash.

What you can do

Like said before, talk about your expectations from your marriage to him/her before you tie the knot. Listen to his/her expectations as well. If he/she is not able to fulfill your expectations, give him/her room to explain the reason for the same. It doesn’t hurt to give up on a few wishes if his/her reasons are valid and strong.

Verbalizing Negatively

A common issue with couples who are married is the way they react or speak out when expressing their concerns to each other. Some individuals tend to verbalize negatively without even knowing that their tone of voice is affecting their partner. If not corrected, this issue could lead to other, more bitter issues in the long run.

What you can do

Whenever you respond to your partner’s concerns, make it a point to keep a sharp check on the tone of your voice. Be gentle and persuasive instead of being loud and defensive. If he/she behaves that way, don’t shout back at him/her. Rather wait for him/her to finish speaking before you start speaking about probable solutions to the issue rather than pinpointing the reasons for it.

Lack of Proper Communication

Let’s take the classic example of a so called ‘nagging wife’. The wife says something to her husband. He doesn’t respond. The wife repeats her words. He says nothing. She repeats her words again. He: Nothing. She: Repeats her words again —- and again, and again, and again — and so on, until the point of time where the wife is actually screaming at her husband and he in return is screaming back at her to shut up.

This also happens to be a major issue between couples who tend to have different ways of communicating their issues to each other. If they feel their partner responds to only a particular way of communication (in the case of the former, it is repeating the issue again and again until the husband gets fed up with the incessant nagging), they stick to it even if they know it would offend their better half.

What you can do

As and when you put out a query, complaint or request to your spouse, wait for him/her to respond to it. He/she may take a few minutes to respond or may not respond at all. In either case, wait for a good couple of minutes before approaching him/her with the same subject.

If he/she is still reluctant to answer, give the issue a miss and carry on with your work. Broach the subject afterwards when he/she is in a better mood to listen to you.

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