Ever since online dating has become so easy and accessible, more men than ever are using the internet to find a partner. However, in order to beat the competition, many men go about finding the woman of their dreams the wrong way.
They try to play games or manipulate their way to the heart of the woman they dream of. They try acting like people they are not deep down to impress women. All these things do not work because being manipulative or fake will eventually get you a woman who will not like the person you truly are in real life. There are much better and more authentic ways to find a partner you will be happy with.
Here are the 5 most common errors men make in trying to find a partner online – and how you can avoid making these mistakes.
5 Mistakes Men Make Online Dating
Don’t Add Women Indiscriminately
Some men figure out that the more women they send a request to on dating sites, the more their chance of landing up a date. This may be true but please note that compatibility is also important. There is no point in going for ten dates and finding out that none of these women even come close to the kind of woman you are looking for. It is better instead to approach women who you think are a good match for you based on their online profiles. If these women agree to chat up with you, there is a far greater chance of things going in the right direction.
One important point you need to remember here is that to find out which woman is a good match for you, you yourself need to get clear about what is important to you first. Introspect and find out what beliefs and values are important to you. Find out what qualities are absolutely essential in the woman you are looking for. When you surf and view different profiles keep this list of beliefs and qualities in mind. Remember that in the end you do want a woman you can be happy with – not just any woman who says yes to you.
Don’t Go Only By the Picture
Many men make half their choices based on the pictures women upload. This is not a good way to make decisions in the long run. Looks may matter to you, but remember that long term compatibility and matching of core beliefs is what makes relationships work.
Neglect a woman whose picture is very attractive but whose profile you can make no sense of. On the other hand, give a woman whose picture is ordinary but whose profile is extraordinary a chance. Remember that only physical beauty cannot sustain any relationship for long – and so this should not be your primary criterion for choosing a partner.
Don’t Seek to Impress
In the world of the internet, the other person cannot see you or judge you when you start dating. Therefore, many men tend to lie and boast to impress women online. This is a bad strategy both in the short term and the long term.
Firstly, many women can catch the fact that you are boasting or lying almost instantly and nothing turns off a woman than knowing that a man is trying to manipulate her through lying. Secondly, even if a woman does indeed believe you and get impressed, you may end up going out with a woman who is not a long term match for you at all because the person she likes is not who you are.
Please note that by lying or trying to impress you are at best attracting women who will reject you when they come to know the real you. If that is the sort of woman you are trying to attract, then what is the point of putting in so much effort to impress?
You are fine just the way you are even if you are imperfect. There will be a woman who will respect you despite your imperfections and accept you just as you are. However, you will attract her into your life only if you are courageous enough to be honest and authentic.
Right from the start go ahead and unabashedly share who you are with the women you chat with. Resist the temptation to be artificial. You will be shocked to see that ironically, an honest man is what most women are looking for!
Don’t be Impatient
Many men register in dating sites expecting to find a woman they like in a few days. This will not happen and what is important is that this should not happen either. You want to find a woman whose thoughts and ideas resonate with yours. This will obviously take time.
Even if it looks like you have been dating online forever and not finding women you like, be patient. Remember that waiting for the right woman is much better than finding the wrong woman and regretting your choice. Be honest, be sure about the kind of woman you are looking for and keep trying. You will eventually find someone you will love being with.
Don’t be Rude
It is natural to feel offended or dejected when a woman rejects you. This happens quite often – for instance, a woman may chat with you and then she may suddenly stop replying to your online messages.
However, no matter what happens, maintain your balance and poise. Do not succumb to the temptation to be rude and impolite. Realize that most women on online dating sites are cautiously checking you out to see if you are the one for them or not. You may not be perfect for a certain woman and that is OK. Just because you are not good enough for a certain woman does not mean you are not a good person. Rejection is a part of online dating.
Politeness and handing rejection with grace inspire respect while rudeness makes you look like a jerk. Choose grace. Eventually, you will see that if you know what you are looking for in a woman, if you are polite and honest right from the start and if you keep going despite some rejections, you will find the woman of your dreams. She is somewhere in the world waiting for you – don’t settle for anyone lesser by being inauthentic. All the best!