Negotiation with child is always a part of raising them at some or the other parts in the life, irrespective of whether we like it or not. Negotiation with your kids can be a great learning experience for them. If you do not negotiate with your kids, then they will not be able to cope up with the conflicts in daily life in a constructive way. If you do not teach them to work with you, they would not learn how to work with others. Thus, it is important to negotiate with your kid to teach them how to deal with the world. Though, negotiating with kids can be a challenging task, but parents need to have patience and control over their frustrations and emotions.
According to Scott Brown, author of book ‘How to Negotiate With Kids Even When You Think You Shouldn’t‘, negotiation can be one of the ways to teach your kids about life in a creative manner. Brown also says, “when emotions run high, negotiating skills drops dramatically”. The struggle for power between kids and parents is a basic issue in various households throughout the world. How much power should be given to the child to take decisions and how much parents should exercise on their kids’ behalf are some of the questions in parents’ mind. Negotiation is an important life skill, which parents should learn keeping in mind some important points before negotiating with kids. Lets discuss about this important issue in the following lines.
How To Negotiate With Your Child
Key Pointers For Negotiating With Kids
Firstly, it should be an agreement not an argument. You must frame your request in such a manner that your kid has no other option, but to say ‘yes’. Keep in mind that your request should appeal to his independence and need for control. For example, if you say, “Would you like to put these clothes in washing machine”, you will definitely get co-operation than ordering this way – ‘Put these clothes in washing machine NOW’. Involve your kid while negotiating as you might say, ‘How much time you think you need to do this chore and get in bed on time?’. Involvement is vital as it gives importance to them.
You must explain your point of view as in a playground you could say, ‘I have to prepare dinner, so we have to leave in five minutes’. If your child says that he is least bothered, then you can say, ‘But I and your sister are..’. This can definitely persuade him and leave the playground. As a parent you must know that negotiation does not mean to give in, like when you are buying a car, you are negotiating that means you are bargaining, but not giving in. You should treat your kids in the similar way. Negotiation should be done suiting to a particular age-group. If your school going kid does not like carrots in lunch, then you might ask, “Which vegetable would you prefer to have in lunch instead?’ and if your preschooler does not want to have breakfast at all, then you might playfully cut sandwich into interesting shapes appealing him to eat.
Cool Down Yourself
when your kid is making you angry. You must go into the other room and cool down yourself before resuming your talk. You should also let your kid win sometimes and remember that changing your mind does not mean losing yourself. You can end up your battle saying that it is OK this time, but next time you should be listening to me, is it fine with you. A family has to work together to deal in negotiation with the kids. Negotiating will make them into responsible adults, so negotiate wisely.