Temperamental spouses are hard to deal with. And if you have a spouse who exhibits a passive aggressive behavior towards everything, then your troubles would increase manifold. Passive aggressive behavior has led to the demise of many otherwise strong relationships, and individuals who exhibit this trait find it difficult to hold on to the ones they love.
So if your partner shows signs of being passive aggressive, here are some tips that would help you handle him/her in a way that would help him/her deal with the issue while not necessarily straining your relationship.
How To Identify Passive Aggressive Behavior?
Passive Aggressive Behavior can be hard to diagnose in an individual, and can sometimes be ignored as a common trait he/she possesses. However, if left uncontrolled, this behavior could become volatile enough to break even the most loving of relationships.
Controlling His/Her Anger
Passive Aggressive behavior gets its name from the fact that the aggressive behavior exhibited by the individual in question is passive for the most part, boiling over only in certain circumstances. And unlike a normal person who tends to vent out his/her frustrations and anger from time to time, a passive aggressive individual will keep his/her anger hidden inside him/her and burst out suddenly on another occasion. And so, if your spouse tends to get angry quickly or has a quick temper, you can be rest assured that he/she does not have passive aggressive behavior.
Being Too Secretive Or Silent
Individuals who exhibit passive aggressive behavior tend to remain silent or emotionless for the most part. They also tend to be over secretive about certain things they don’t want you to know or are uncomfortable sharing with you. It is also a known fact that extroverts are more open towards their frustrations and tend to release the same via several means like talking to people. However, passive aggressive individuals will keep all their emotions locked up inside them and remain emotionally withdrawn about the same.
Emotional Outbursts Are Scathing
Passive aggressive individuals tend to hide their likes and dislikes from others around them. That doesn’t mean they forget everything and move one. They actually keep everything stored up inside their minds and bring the same out at a later time to hurt you.
For example, you broke up with your spouse for a brief while before getting back with him/her He/she may have not reacted to the breakup at all. However, if he/she starts pointing about the same every time you have a fight, then most probably he/she is exhibiting signs of being passive aggressive.
If your spouse refrains from answering your questions directly and provides withdrawn answers for the same, then most probably he/she is passive aggressive. Such individuals tend to hide their true feelings about certain issues as and when they occur, and then bring them up later on when they want to hurt you emotionally.
For example, let’s say you are having a sleepover with some of your pals (same sex) and you want his/her permission to attend it. He/she would neither respond positively nor negatively to your request. Rather he/she would throw the ball in your court and see what you decide. If your decision pleases him/her, he/she would be pleased. However, if your decision does not appease to him/her, he/she would probably keep the incident in mind and turn it towards his/her favor when he/she wants something from you.
In this case, if your spouse says ‘Your wish’ when you ask him/her for the outing, note that he/she is not entirely happy with the idea and wants you to say ‘no’ to it. If you decide to go ahead, he/she would keep the incident in mind and pressurize you into accepting his demands later on.
No Direct Talk
Individuals who exhibit passive aggressive behavior never tend to let their emotions flow out during fights. Rather, they keep the same locked up inside their mind and just stare angrily at the other person. These people tend to store their discontent for the person and then let the same out at a convenient situation where they know the person in question would be humiliated by their words. They would also make sure that their outbursts are subtle yet sarcastic enough to cause the other person to break down.
If your spouse has not talked to you properly for the last couple of days or is in no mood to even chat with you for a short while, he/she might be angry about something you might have done that he/she didn’t like. This is a common behavioral trait of passive aggressive people who tend to mete out silent punishment in the form of ignorance or negligence to your words and feelings. Instead of pointing out why they are angry with you in the first place, passive aggressive people will keep on pricking you with words or just keep on ignoring you until you lose your cool and burst out in return. And then, naturally the blame for the entire issue would be put on you.