Have you broken up with your beloved over a stupid argument? Or did misunderstandings and lack of trust created a rift between the two of you.? The period after a break up can be a quite heart-wrenching experience especially for people who had genuine and true feelings for each other and had planned to spend their lives together.
Breaking up with a person you love dearly can trigger multitude of emotions within you ranging from despair to anger to guilt to anxiety. Dealing with the fact that your relationship died due to a trifle argument or an issue which could have been solved if the two of you were ready to discuss it peacefully, can be quite traumatic and unsettling for you.
However, if you still feel for your ex and you hope that you can make things right and revive your old relationship, here is a ten step guide which can help you in winning back your ex and rekindle the love that has been lost.
Identify the Reason for Breakup
The first step towards making things right to get back your love is to know and understand the reasons that caused a rift and lead to the devastation of your relationship. Know the cause of your breakup and analyse it from an outsider’s perspective to identify who was at fault and what could have been done to prevent it.
The responsibility of the failure of a relationship cannot be attributed to a single person. Like the two sides of a coin, a broken relationship is also the result of actions of both the people involved in it.
Include Common Friends
It is obvious that you might have lost track of your ex post breakup. You need to catch up on your common friends and get an idea about what your ex has been up to all this time. Your common friends can also give you a view of your ex’s take on you and the break up. If your friends inform you that your ex has moved on and has settled into a new relationship, you can take the decision of backing off and staying away from your ex.
A Casual ‘Hi’
So are you clueless about how to initiate a conversation with your ex? A simple ‘hi’ can do the trick. Pretend to bump into your ex at a casual gathering and strike a normal conversation like asking how she is and what she has been doing all this time. Your ex’s response can give you an idea about her interest or disinterest in you. If her reaction says that she has nothing left for you, you can simply back off and give up on the task of reviving your romance.
Protect your Self-Esteem
It is true that you love your ex and want things to get back to normal. However it does not entail that you should compromise on your self-esteem and stoop to any level to make your ex take you back. There is a very fine line that distinguishes ego from self-esteem. In order to resolve the issues between you and your ex you will have to let go off your ego but you need to be careful that you don’t relinquish your self-esteem and respect. A person cannot respect you until and unless you can respect yourself.
When you are expressing your feelings to your beloved, you need to be subtle and straightforward in your expression. Don’t try to exaggerate or indulge in melodrama as it can project a negative image on your ex. Be very clear and honest about what you feel and how this break up affected you. Nonetheless don’t try to pretend that your life stopped after the breakup. Let your ex understand that time and life do not stop for anyone and love is a two way feeling.
Sometimes you have to adopt tricks and other means like jealousy to make your ex realize that hey still care about you. Jealousy can be your secret weapon which can trigger the reaction that you want from your ex which is attention.
Usually when you want your ex-girlfriend to notice you, you can simply make her jealous by showing that you are happy with another girl. And this will infuriate her beyond measure and she is bound to respond to it.
A Genuine Apology
You can use tricks to make your ex jealous, you can play clever but nothing works as good as a genuine and heartfelt apology. If your regret is true and your actions are earnest, your ex will sense your honesty and will respond to it. Moreover once you have apologized for your mistakes and the pain you have inflicted on your ex, you will feel light and liberated. Apologizing is not about compromising on your ego. It is about being a true and genuine human who is not shy to admit and confess his mistakes.
Let Go off Past Issue
Your aim behind confrontation is to sort out issues and rekindle your lost love. Don’t bring past arguments and grudges into your discussion. It will lead you nowhere near to your aim but might just make things worse between you and your ex. Learn to forgive and forget. First accept your mistakes. In order to make your ex realize his part in the breakup, be subtle and tactful. Don’t blame your ex for everything.
You might want your ex to come back into your life. However you must not forget that Love is a two-sided feeling. You need to consider your ex’s will as well. Is your ex willing to revive the relationship or has she moved on?
Also if you have felt empty inside since your ex left and have wanted to make things normal again, your ex should feel the same. If your ex lacks the determination and motivation to rekindle your relationship that you possess, it might not work. Both of you should be equally determined in this task.
So don’t be afraid and take the plunge. Your small efforts might bring back your love.
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