When bitterness creeps in a relationship nothing seems to be right. The partner with whom one has spent some beautiful moments is nothing less than a devil. If there is a child in question then the acerbity is more acute.
One parent begins to work towards diminishing the presence of the other parent in the child’s life and consciously tries to alienate the child towards the other parent. A castle of lies around the child is woven, visitations are denied and the child is convinced that the other parent is not needed in their life. This is parental alienation syndrome (PAS) and causes immense damage to the development of the child.
Reversing Parental Alienation : Some Practical Measures
Engage in dialogue with the kid. Befriend the child; convince that you are a confidante. Encourage the child to speak about her feelings for her alienated parent. You have to be very vigilante with the vocabulary the kid uses. Also, if the child is very forthcoming in her responses about her alienated parent’s behavior towards her, you should be able to infer that the child may have been coached. You need to probe further with more direct questions. If you see the child is growing more and more confused with direct questioning you could become certain that parental alienation is the cause. Normally a child would be very disturbed and not too forthcoming if the parent is really abusive.
Talk to the alienated and the alienating parent. Prepare a list of the good moments that the child has spent with the alienated parent. Remind her of the time they had spent together and how the alienated parent was there for her always when she needed. Show her videos and snaps that show the bond they shared. Speaking to the alienating parent will help you access if this is being done deliberately. Sometimes they are not aware that they are doing things that are threatening the development of the child. After you speak and help them see light, they may be willing to cooperate.
Allow some quality time with the alienated parent without any kind of external influence or interference. This would allow the child to understand his alienated parent and relate to the picture he has in his mind. It may lead him to change his mind without any therapy.
Parental alienation therapists can also be approached to bridge the gap between the kid and the alienated parent. The therapists are professionals who are firm and aggressive in their approach to reverse the effects of parental alienation. A series of individual interactions followed by joint sessions with the alienated parent and child helps them in initiating a positive dialogue between the two. The therapists through a series of psychological and emotional reasoning tools will help both the child and the alienated parent to visualize a happy life together.
If the alienating parent is being too rigid, as a last resort one can file a petition in the court to remove the child from the custody of the alienating parent. This step should be taken only when the other methods have been tried out and it has been established that the alienating parent has so much influence that no amount of help can reverse PAS.
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